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Sunday, July 19, 2009, 5:37 AM
i'm trapped by low self-esteem. I couldnt seem to bring myself out to play again.i put in effort and tried to do well for my english descriptive but it turned out to be bad. i was excited at first when my teacher gave out the paper. i thought i did my best and i will score at least a 20 when mr ng even said good effort. but when i peeped at my marks, it wasnt at all desirable. i only scored a 16 out of 30, one of the lowest in class. i felt like breaking down at that time but kept telling myself to stay strong, i must not cry. netball. i wasnt at all surprised that i'm not in for kl trip though. i knew i'm not up to the standard. Likewise, everytime when i tried to work hard for sth, my efforts always turned out to be in vain. Ever since i started training with 14s, i begin to doubt my ability. Am i really fit to be in the squad. i'm not improving nor growing taller whereas others are improving dramatically. i'm just a bench player. i'm disappointed with myself. i dont deserve the romp medal atall. i did not contributed much ytd. I Know that i'm not significant to the team and they didnt need me to be out there during their crucial period of time. i really want to experience playing with all of you and to experience the glory and the great sense of achievement while receiving the champion medal. but i'm simply not qualified to play with all of you. i back out automatically everytime during the most important quarter cause i knew i will just affect the team's play. i'm dumb. i'm lousy. what else can i do? Friday, July 10, 2009, 4:54 AM
netball
im starting to doubt if my sports is really netball.Am i of a kind who prefers to work as a team or individual? Do i actually have a talent in netball? i am greatly disheartened by my performance on thurs and couldnt concentrade the next morning. i was fuddled by the lack of sleep as i was burning midnight oil the day before. As a result, i interpreted the question wrongly and i would just have to prepare myself for the worst. After the trials ytd i was starting to ask myself is it worth it to go down to sss to train twice a week till late in the evening? Is it worthwhile to go down every evening to support the u14s team? Is it worth it to travel all the way to woodlands just to train for 3hrs and get myself so lerthargic that i cant even concentrade on my work? My grades are dropping dramatically. i was naive at first to even thought that i could manage my time properly and balance my netball with my studies. However i was absolutely wrong. I'm not a superwoman, i cant. On a lighter note, thanks shiyu for cheering me up! :D Hoping against hope that i could get a 10 out of 25 for my lit test. Don't wish for more just 10 and i would be more than happy enough. Albert Schweitzer: Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Do i lactually love and enjoy what i'm doing? Will i be successful? |
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Hello! I'm Toh Shao Xuan from CHIJ St Nicholas Girls'. I'm in Netball and I'm born on 4th April! :D Tag
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